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Ah, the thrill of opening and closing a restaurant server shift, where drama and excitement are always on the menu! Let's dive into this exciting adventure with a pinch of humor and a heaping spoonful of accuracy.

Server Opening Checklist:

1. Pre-shift Meeting: Gather your troops (servers) and go over specials, events, and any other vital information. Make sure everyone is well-rested and ready to rock this shift. If anyone looks like they need an extra cup of joe, encourage them to indulge.

2. Unlock the POS System: If your POS system is locked tighter than a fortress, make sure to unlock it with the proper security measures. Or, if you forgot the combination again, try your manager's birthday or their favorite fictional character. If all else fails, maybe it's time to consider a career change.

3. Check the Floors: Inspect the dining area and make sure the tables are well-stocked with menus, condiments, and napkin holders. If any tables require exorcisms, place a discreet "Out of Order" sign and alert management.

4. Inspect the Bar: Make sure the bar is clean, fully stocked, and ready for thirsty patrons. Mojito Mondays and TGIF drinks are non-negotiable. Test the tap lines to ensure that the beer is flowing freely like the sweet nectar of the gods.

5. Greet the Kitchen Staff: Give the kitchen staff a warm and friendly greeting. Remind them that you are their best friend, and they should treat you with the respect you deserve. Also, if you brought them doughnuts or a latte, now is an excellent time to share your generosity.

6. Psych Yourself Up: Put on your game face, do a quick power pose, or recite a motivational mantra. You're a warrior, and it's time to slay this shift!

Server Closing Checklist:

1. Post-shift Meeting: After the storm has passed, gather your troops once more to discuss any mishaps, triumphs, and lessons learned. Give out high-fives and commendations for excellent performance. Remember, it takes a village, and you all did it!

2. Audit the POS System: Review all transactions for accuracy and ensure everything balances. If there are discrepancies, check the math and blame the bussers.

3. Cash Out and Reconcile: Time to count the cash and close out registers. Put on your detective hat and search for any signs of skimming or errors.

4. Clean Up the Dining Area: Wipe down tables, sweep floors, and straighten chairs. If you find any lost treasures (keys, phones, or wallets), return them to their rightful owners.

5. Restock the Bar: Organize and neatly arrange barware and refill the shelves with liquor. If you come across any unusual combination of drinks, file a report with the management for further investigation.

6. Bid Farewell to the Kitchen Staff: Thank the kitchen staff for their hard work and send them on their way. Don't forget to request any leftover bread and pastries for the next morning's staff meal.

7. Count Your Blessings: Reflect on the shift, learn from any mistakes, and appreciate the lessons you've learned. When all is said and done, remember that you're part of an exciting, chaotic, and beautiful industry.

Now that you've explored the wild world of server opening and closing checklists, you're well-equipped to tackle any shift that comes your way. Embrace the chaos, savor the laughter, and never forget the number one rule: keep a sense of humor. Cheers to your successful journey through the ups and downs of restaurant life!